Why do I do Yoga?

I first started yoga with a friend, we would drive to Kamloops late on a Friday night and do yoga together. I was terrified at first thinking I had to be some fit, flexible superstar, or had to be able to be still and silent and totally calm, a thing 21 year old Kayla certainly was not. My body is riddled with past injuries that I saw as limitations and I was afraid to show this weakness in a room full of strangers who I assumed would have it all together. I ended up having fun, and feeling pretty good after each class. I casually attended classes for the next few years. I hit my head in 2014, and I hit it hard. I had a severe concussion and when the symptoms continued to get worse almost 6 months later I sought medical attention. They found I had a Chiari Malformation (my brain is too big for my skull) and I had a choice, leave things as they were or take a chance on brain surgery. Given that “things as they were” involved passing out in the shower, regularly losing feeling and ability to move my hands, arms and legs, headaches and so on, I opted to have surgery. Months later, I found some things had improved but I still found myself with unpleasant symptoms but there was nothing more to be done medically speaking. At this point I was not allowed to do any of my favourite sports - hockey, snowboarding, biking, etc. I had a hard time focusing at school and work and it showed. My body was to blame for all of this, it was my number one enemy. If I could feel it, I felt pain, it was trying to destroy me and I felt like I had to fight it every step. I had to re-evaluate and adjust my entire life, expectations for my future and my goals. To help me navigate, I thought I might try yoga again despite still getting dizzy and numb frequently; it had made me feel good in the past, was a low impact activity and I could always lay down or take child's pose, if I needed to. I just knew I wanted to move.

I did yoga every day for 30 days. Sometimes I did the whole sequence and sometimes I laid down for half (or more) of the class. ***See note*** By the end of the 30 days I felt more in tune with my body, more self love and acceptance than I ever had. I found my focus had slightly improved and I even felt less disconnected from my body. I had learned techniques to help me ground when I was feeling dizzy, unfocused and generally disconnected. This self love, acceptance and connectedness translated into the rest of my life. From then, I knew that yoga had to be a big part of the rest of my life. It has helped me through many ups and downs. No one is perfect and yoga has taught me that no one needs to be perfect, we all have our own journey and our own experience. I love to ask others “Why Yoga” because I find the answers are inspiring, encouraging and interesting. They also remind me that I am not alone. A lot of yoga teachers, when asked this question, have a similar story. They went through a period of feeling disconnected from their bodies, or lives, or the earth and through yoga found themselves, found love for themselves and were urged to share that love.
*** I am in no way saying yoga is a cure or healing. Nor is it a substitute for medical attention. If you are suffering from a mental or physical ailment please seek professional help immediately and ask them if yoga is appropriate for you as a way to supplement their treatment.***